The past two years have been undoubtedly the most painful and difficult time of my life. It all began in Aug 2020 when I started experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety and eventually had to quit my job after things went downhill. Over the past two years, I have been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Panic Disorder with Agoraphobia, and Psychosis. In that time, I have also been admitted to the National University Hospital’s psychiatric ward thrice.

In each season of my recovery, I felt helpless, hopeless, defeated and distressed. The future always seemed bleak, and it always felt like this is it. This is the end. There’s always a sense of impending doom looming over me. I have hit rock bottom numerous times, and just when I thought things can’t get any worse, I was proven wrong. I have tried close to 20 different medications, but just as I was about to give up, I finally found the right combination that seems to be working well for me, alongside my own coping
strategies.

As I look back on the past two years, in spite of all the suffering that I have been through, I feel incredibly proud of how far I have come. I have fought through millions of battles, I have survived countless panic attacks, I have overcome all the terrifying hallucinations, and I have also found the will to live and not succumb to the suicidal thoughts and urges each time they come.

It’s been a tough journey, to say the least, but I have also gained a lot from it. I have witnessed my strength, courage and resilience through it all. I have learnt that even when it doesn’t feel like it, I am stronger than I know, and there is always hope as long as I don’t give up on myself.